Meet the Parents

Introduction

Hello! So I've made an observation over the course of the past few Tuesdays. Tuesday is seniors day where I work. I've noticed that senior citizens are either one of two of the following: total sweethearts or completely miserable. There is no grey area here. I understand you are elderly and have probably contributed a lot to the community over your lifetime but look, please remember the following:

-If we are out of microwavable pot roast, I cannot randomly pull one out of my ass. I was not born that gifted.

-You don't need to remind me eight thousand times that you are entitled to the senior discount. I can tell by the way you can't hear me from 1 foot away and the fact that you are only purchasing soup due to your lack of teeth.

-The seniors discount means you get a certain percentage off your purchase, it does not entitle you to skip the entire line.

-I understand that our other location near your house has closed down and now you must risk your life driving down Walker Road at rush hour when you really aren't supposed to be driving because you've recently had a hip replacement but you cannot cook for yourself due to this hip replacement so you have to come purchase already-made food from me that you can just pop in the microwave. I understand you would take the bus but them “damn kids” always steal the handicap spots at the front. (this was an actual phone call I received at work one day).

-I would be MORE than happy to carry your bags to the car. Please stop thinking you will be fine carrying 10 lbs of cabbage rolls by yourself and then almost toppling over when you try to do so.

-Please don't get snappy with me when I try showing you how to use the debit machine. I am not trying to steal your identity. If I was going to bother to do that, it would be someone much younger.

-Please have your glasses out and ready before heading to the check-out. You are holding up the line digging through the mountains of sweet n' low sugar packets and Werther's Original candies in your purse in order to find your glasses so you can double check I am not trying to scam you by charging you more.

Now, I don't mean to sound non empathetic, this is simply an observation. Not all senior citizens are grouchy. I've had my fair share of old cutie pies come into the store. I like the ones that call me “sweetheart” or “dear.” It really brightens my day. It's as if they are acknowledging my bubbly politeness and the fact that I only want to help them. If I make it to my senior citizen days, I hope I am a delightful old lady who wears tacky brooches.

Meet the Parents

Welp, I think its fair to say that my life is embarrassing. I would never have it any other way. Sometimes I think it is the reason why I am single, but I have to admit my embarrassing moments are what make me such a charming and loveable person, although I'm sure some people would disagree with that statement. I would like to share a more recent embarrassing story with you.

It was not long ago, about a couple weeks ago to be exact. I was on a date. Yes, there are men out there who are willing to take out in public and yes it WAS a man, I will call this man Rodney. We went to Moxies and ate a whole lot of delicious food then went bowling where I made several jokes about balls. I was my usual self. After about four games of gutter balls, we decided we had enough. I invited him back to my house to watch some Netflix! I am currently doing nothing worth mentioning with my life and therefore I still live with my parents and 20 year old brother. If I can remember correctly I stressed how small my house is in a previous blog. My Mom and Dad's room shares a wall with the TV room. So we sit down on the couch and are looking through our movie choices when my Mom yells from her room “SO CHELS, DID YA DO IT WITH HIM?” She had no idea he was sitting right next to me on the couch. This is how the rest of this went down:

Me: *Palm to face* “OH MY GOD MOM, HE'S SITTING RIIIGHT NEXT TO ME!”

long awkward silence

Mom: “Oh my God. I am sooo sorry! Hi Rodney...I'm Chelsea's Mom!”

Me: “Its okay Mom, it's a legit question.”

“Well Rodney, now you see where I get it from. This is why I don't have boyfriends.”

Mom: *Peeks around the corner* “I'm sorry, I thought you were talking to your brother. It's nice to meet you Rodney.”

Mom then came out in her bath robe and properly introduced herself then went to the kitchen to find snacks to offer us. The worst part was you could hear her in the kitchen whispering to my brother about what just happened. Rodney thought it was funny but I'm assuming he was wondering just how many guys I “do it” with in order for my own mother to ask me that after a first date.

Lessons Learned: Text Mom before bringing home a guy as I hope she would do the same. Also, learn to bowl.

By-eee

If my blogs entertain you, please entertain me by telling me any embarrassing date stories in the comment box below! As always, enjoy the picture of the day and thank you for reading, I've had a lot of positive comments from random people I've seen at the bar! Haha.

Love, Chelsea

I'm obsessed with Sea Lions. How could you look at one and NOT smile? :) This is a sea lion chillin on the dock in SanFran. My favourite place in the world.