So today I lived a life of luxury on a part-time, minimum wage job budget. I went on a miniature shopping spree…at Giant Tiger, where I bought a beautiful pleather jacket and 3 pack of non-returnable underwear that are too small and don’t cover my butt crack. I don’t care what anyone says, Giant Tiger is awesome. There is NOTHING uncool about saving money.
I then relaxed while tanning and reading a lovely book. However, I do not have a pool so I strategically placed a towel on my lawn, away from any landmines (dog poop) and sprawled out there. Instead of staring at a glistening lake or a refreshing pool, I was swatting an ant or a fly off of me literally every 5 seconds.
Then I had a feast, a hot dog feast. Mom made wieners with every topping imaginable, including chilli. See, you don’t need a lot of money to live a swanky life.
A Little Bit More About Me
Here are some things I find funny and/or amusing:
-Professional Couples Photos...HAHAHA…especially couples who PAY to get them done. *secretly wishes I had somebody to take some with*
-Sea lions. Hands down, I feel high when I see them. They make me so happy. I think it’s probably because they remind me of my overweight dog. I like how perfectly content they are with doing nothing but laying in the sun for hours.
-Toots.I actually sincerely apologize for finding toots so funny. Growing up, I was always praised for a good, healthy sounding toot. So, the fact that I find them funny is not my fault, I was brought up to think this.
-The Subway commercial with the heavy-set people. (the bikini top snapping, the hammock breaking, etc. Youtube it.)
-When my dog lays on her back. Her ears flap back and her teeth stick out. Its pathetically hilarious.
-The shows Married with Children, Golden Girls, and Modern Family. These are the only shows that actually make me laugh out loud.
-Last Easter dinner when my Aunt dropped the dessert cake on the floor.
-When people get food stuck in between their 2 front teeth. I wonder which percentage of people will let someone know when they have something stuck in their teeth. Personally, I find it awkward to point it out to someone.
-Couples with matching shirts
-Thinking about the time my cousin got sweaty armpits at the mall so she had to buy a new shirt. The cheapest one we could find said "Quit following me you physco"
-The time Erica and I dressed up like the band “Stereos”
-The Channing Show on Youtube (the episode when the closet door falls on her)
-Sea lions. Hands down, I feel high when I see them. They make me so happy. I think it’s probably because they remind me of my overweight dog. I like how perfectly content they are with doing nothing but laying in the sun for hours.
-Toots.I actually sincerely apologize for finding toots so funny. Growing up, I was always praised for a good, healthy sounding toot. So, the fact that I find them funny is not my fault, I was brought up to think this.
-The Subway commercial with the heavy-set people. (the bikini top snapping, the hammock breaking, etc. Youtube it.)
-When my dog lays on her back. Her ears flap back and her teeth stick out. Its pathetically hilarious.
-The shows Married with Children, Golden Girls, and Modern Family. These are the only shows that actually make me laugh out loud.
-Last Easter dinner when my Aunt dropped the dessert cake on the floor.
-When people get food stuck in between their 2 front teeth. I wonder which percentage of people will let someone know when they have something stuck in their teeth. Personally, I find it awkward to point it out to someone.
-Couples with matching shirts
-Thinking about the time my cousin got sweaty armpits at the mall so she had to buy a new shirt. The cheapest one we could find said "Quit following me you physco"
-The time Erica and I dressed up like the band “Stereos”
-The Channing Show on Youtube (the episode when the closet door falls on her)
Topic of The Day
Parking Lots!
Now, I am guilty of doing this too so I'm not judging, this is just an observation. Why are we so desperate to find the closest parking spot possible to the building we need to enter? I mean, most parking lots aren't SOOO big that parking at the back would result in running a marathon in order to get inside the store. In most cases, parking at the very back would only be a 1 minute walking time difference compared to a spot at the very front. Yet, we would rather wait for someone to do a 27-point turn in order to get out of a tight spot RIGHT in front than park in the spot two spaces over. We could all use the extra exercise anyway.
Also, is it just me or is a parking space where you can pull through not THE BEST. It requires no backing out when it’s time to leave. I feel like I strike gold when I find one of these spots (especially if it’s right in front lol). I feel so pressured when I'm backing out of a parking lot spot when someone is waiting to pull in. I especially hate when someone is waiting for your spot and they pull up SO CLOSE that it’s nearly impossible to get out. Next time this happens to me I'm going to make it super inconvenient for them and back up a half an inch, then forward half an inch, then backward, then forward, and on and on, so it takes 45 minutes to pull out of my spot.
One time I went to Penalty Box with my dear friend Amanda. That is the WORST parking lot ever invented. I parked in a spot that was physically impossible to get out of because there were cars on either side/in front of me and the building was a couple feet behind me. It literally seemed impossible...but what was I going to do? I was about 10 minutes into the process of trying to pull out of this darned parking lot and at this point had reversed and pulled forward at least 309439043 times when a nice lady noticed my struggle. At first she laughed at me (I was not blaming her because I was dying with laughter as well) and then she pulled the what I call “car-wash-man moves” and stood there using hand signals telling me when to stop, when to pull forward, and when to back up. It was slightly embarrassing but I was thankful.
Also, is it just me or is a parking space where you can pull through not THE BEST. It requires no backing out when it’s time to leave. I feel like I strike gold when I find one of these spots (especially if it’s right in front lol). I feel so pressured when I'm backing out of a parking lot spot when someone is waiting to pull in. I especially hate when someone is waiting for your spot and they pull up SO CLOSE that it’s nearly impossible to get out. Next time this happens to me I'm going to make it super inconvenient for them and back up a half an inch, then forward half an inch, then backward, then forward, and on and on, so it takes 45 minutes to pull out of my spot.
One time I went to Penalty Box with my dear friend Amanda. That is the WORST parking lot ever invented. I parked in a spot that was physically impossible to get out of because there were cars on either side/in front of me and the building was a couple feet behind me. It literally seemed impossible...but what was I going to do? I was about 10 minutes into the process of trying to pull out of this darned parking lot and at this point had reversed and pulled forward at least 309439043 times when a nice lady noticed my struggle. At first she laughed at me (I was not blaming her because I was dying with laughter as well) and then she pulled the what I call “car-wash-man moves” and stood there using hand signals telling me when to stop, when to pull forward, and when to back up. It was slightly embarrassing but I was thankful.
Conclusion: stop wasting gas on looking for the perfect parking space and just take the first one you see.
By-eee
Welp, thanks for reading lovelys! Please enjoy the picture of the day below!
xoxoxox,
Chelsea!
This from some years back, when I was on a retreat for the Student Representative Council. We stopped at a truck stop and I couldn't find my shoes so I wore one stripper heel and one furry boot. (Please Note: I do not actually smoke, I just wanted to try and make this picture appear as unclassy as could be)
No comments:
Post a Comment